Kindness is Universal
I’ve struggled with how to lead students though challenging conversations in the past. They seem coloured by the current climate to give textbook or ‘socially acceptable’ answers, and to tear down anyone who speaks alternatives, which leads to false dictomatic thinking or creation of mini tribes within the classroom. However, it is only through dialog that we can work through these issues and avoid the unintended consequences of shutting down students. This is why I found myself reading Ryan’s PROMOTING DISAGREEMENT: HOW TO DEBATE AND NOT DIE patch. The particular nugget that stood out to me was this:
In other words, kindness is universal but not correctness.
It seems as if we focused more on how human brains work and the cognitive biases we are all victim to, we’d come to controversial conversations more humbly and without a need to ‘win’ or to push an agenda. It is true that authentic conversations that truly value diverse opinions take more time than simply telling people how it’s going to be or what the new rules are, but they also yield stronger, more inclusive, and less emotionally driven solutions. As I mentioned in a previous post – there is value in working through the discomfort of conflict in a productive way. Kindness and compassion form an effective foundation for these types of conversations, because, as Ryan points out, they are universal.
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